OHMYGOSSIP — Louise Thompson is starting to see “a glimmer of hope” as she battles depression, severe anxiety, avoidance and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following the birth of her son.
The former ‘Made in Chelsea’ star spent five weeks in intensive care after giving birth to 15-week-old son Leo – who she shares with partner Ryan Libbey – and she has now bravely opened up about how mental health has “gripped [her]”, including being “too scared” to look after her boy in case her anxiety is triggered.
In a lengthy Instagram post, she wrote: “Where the hell have the last three months gone? Leo turns 15 weeks today and my brain can’t comprehend it. The last time I properly opened up about my trauma was on the 15th of January and I haven’t felt strong enough to talk about it since. If I could use a few words to describe the past month they would be: SCARED, CONFUSED, PARALYSED, AND TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.
My brain keeps deleting memories in order to try and protect itself and it’s so scary. Trauma and fear have no understanding of time. I remember a therapist told me that a few months ago and I didn’t understand what she meant. Now I do. Extremely scary circumstances get trapped in your brain as a fight or flight response and they don’t get processed like other memories. They don’t leave with time. They get trapped in your subconscious.
“To be honest I’ve been too scared to post about how I’m feeling because I’m not even close to feeling like a normal person yet. I remember when I first posted about PTSD I got really triggered by comments saying it could take 6/9 months to process and I HATED hearing that. I stopped reading everything. I’ve had to block out any health related content to protect myself. Now I have come to terms with the fact that my life might never be the same again, but things honestly can’t get any worse than they’ve been over the past month so hopefully i’m at the beginning of my actual recovery. I have had to learn an incredible amount of patience (something I never ever had before). Perhaps one of the only good things to come out of this? The only other thing that might be beneficial one day (remarkable that i’ve even reached a point where I can think about my future) is that I might be able to help encourage other people to keep on going. DON’T GIVE UP. JUST KEEP LIVING. ONE MORE DAY.
I thought that living in hospital for a month was the worst time of my life. Wow I was wrong. I had control over my mind then.
Something happened about a month ago where my mind and body came crashing down in tandem. I guess I had been in self preservation mode/survival mode up until that point. Then the real mental health hell began.
It’s very hard to describe in words what I’ve been going through but I have buckets and buckets of notes I’ve written to myself which I will look back on when I’m feeling better or at least a bit more like ‘Louise’. (sic)”
The 31-year-old star then detailed some of the ways her mental health has been affected, such as battling a phobia of her fridge and bathtub, wearing the same clothes every day for a month, and not being able to leave the house for two weeks.
Louise – who was left shaken in October after a devastating house fire ripped through her mother’s home – admits she now “understands trauma”, but she is on the road to recovery and has encouraged others not to be “too proud” to ask for help.
She added: “Honestly i’ve been at a level of rock bottom that I never knew existed. I never understood suffering or suicide before.
I have learnt a lot over the past 1/2 year. I used to watch fires on tv and not relate, now I understand the trauma. I used to hear about ptsd after war or abuse, now I understand the trauma. It is not as easy as ‘you survived the past, so now you live’.
I wanted to finish this post with something a tiny bit positive. I am starting to see a glimmer of hope. I have quite a lot of people, processes and medication to thank for that. I will share more as I start to feel a bit more compos mentis. What I want to remind anyone that is suffering is to KEEP BLOODY GOING. It can and will get better. Crisis teams and medication can help. Don’t be too proud to ask for HELP. (sic)”

Source: VacationHunter.Online